I use to party a lot more than I do now. In my twenties I was always spending all of my spare time under the influence of some substance mainly alcohol and/or marijuana. Occasionally The Grateful Dead would come through Philadelphia and some acid or mushrooms would be available which I would or would not participate in depending on my mood at the time of availability.
As I got older the use of marijuana became less and less with more responsibilities and need to keep a higher paying job. Before I knew it I was only using alcohol on the weekends after fifty plus hour work weeks, and did not even have any friends who had connections to find pot anymore.
This was fine with me because I had had my time with marijuana and always heard people say that as you became older you grow out of the “pot phase”, so I figured I was just growing up. Alcohol was my drug of choice and used on most weekends and holidays. After awhile it was every weekend and every time I had a day off work to recover, then sometimes during the week when I would go out and throw darts on league.
It was apparent that I had and still do have a drinking problem. I found it very common to have blackouts and find out later that I have done something embarrassing to myself or to my wife or friends. Although my friends were not usually to upset because they were all right there doing the same hijinks as myself it was still a big problem for me.
I would spend the beginning of the week regretting the unknown happenings of the past weekends blackout, and the end of the week ready to go bar hopping on my motorcycle with my friends. It was a vicious circle and a great loss of memories of what was probably good times during the weekend festivities.
Eventually my wife and I found ourselves with a friend who needed a place to stay for a while (not really a friend, more of an acquaintance). When he asked if it was OK to smoke pot in the house neither of us had any objections. That led to me of course smoking pot with him.
It was fun and brought back memories of fun times with my friends back home. I made us a gravity bong, and we would have iron lung competitions (seeing who could hold a harsh hit from the gravity bong the longest). I noticed that I was fulfilling my need to get a buzz and unwind after long workweeks, but I was not drinking as much and went months without getting wasted drunk and blacking out. Twelve packs went from lasting a single night to lasting weeks. I was waking up on Saturday and Sunday mornings clearheaded and ready to be part of the world.
The roommate eventually got back on his feet and moved on, leaving me with no marijuana connection. Just as well because my job did drug test and I would have been fired if it was to happen. So as you can probably guess I soon fell back into the pattern of drink too much blackout and try to piece it together over the week just to do it over the next week. When I finally had enough of myself, I found a marijuana connection (there were other jobs in the world if I ever did get popped for a random drug test).
This was some time ago and I no longer smoke. Not because of the lack of availability, nor the lack of preference to marijuana, but because of the legality of it all. I have a nice house and am attending college with student loans. I just cannot run the risk of getting a drug charge. The real problem is the drinking, I believe it is far worse for society than marijuana could ever be,and I hold the opinion that the laws regarding marijuana are more damaging than the substance itself.
I know I should just have learned to use some self control, but try telling that to the sixty-five percent of Americans who are overweight and see how well it works for them, because that’s how well it works for me. I did quit the dart team and kept it (drinking) to strictly just weekends and holidays.
Rarely do I go out to drinking establishments and if I do I always have a designated driver (I am old and responsible now). During group events like bike week in Daytona Beach I will not start drinking until we are all back at the house for the night. When I am at home I will not drink unless I know that I am home for the night. Not to say that I don’t slip up every now and then.
I know I have a drinking problem and it will always be there. Thanks to that unnamed roommate I discovered that with marijuana I truly could have my cake (buzz) and eat it too (remember what happened and keep my inhibitions inhibited)!
With all of that being said I just want to tell you that my quality of life was better with marijuana playing a part of it. From my own sense of self worth and respect, to my social behavior as well as my relationship with my wife and friends.
I have since quit drinking all together and still do not use marijuana.